The ceiling gazer
13 August 2013 @ 08:47 pm
 
What stresses me out about group works is that I have a hard time explaining concepts that are really clear to me to other people. Or they aren't satisfied with how I explain it because it doesn't sound like it came from a textbook.

Adenomyosis is when endometrial tissue invades the myometrial lining. Endometriosis is when endometrial tissue grows in areas aside from the uterine cavity and the myometrium.

Why do things have to be a million times more complicated than they need to be?

I can't let this bother me for too long. Once I'm done typing, I abandon ship.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
12 August 2013 @ 08:21 am
 
Now that I think about it, I'm so used to being called "weird" that I'm no longer offended by it. It's as if it's even my name.

The only thing that ticks me off big time is when people associate plain eccentricity with needing to be institutionalized. Kind of true in my case, but still.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
11 August 2013 @ 11:14 pm
 
Have I mentioned how peeved I am about all school announcements being posted on Facebook (which I loathe and despise)?

And how people communicate by using vague one-liner messages like "Hello? Deadline guys." and expect everyone to understand what they're saying?

And how people expect you to at least punctuate your messages with smilies, if not pepper them throughout, or else suspect you're either angry or your mother didn't hug you enough when you were little?

Bah, Facebook.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
11 August 2013 @ 10:33 pm
 
I survived 24 hour duty!

Now I have to survive two more weeks of papers, group reports and exams.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
06 August 2013 @ 10:48 pm
 
I've finished more than a week of OB rotations, and I'm still alive!

But I'm drowning in readings and group reports, and when there's groupwork, my almost my entire life is suspended for a (relatively long) while before I'm left alone again to work at my own pace.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
31 July 2013 @ 10:34 pm
 
More than halfway through the week.

Spent the whole day today taking histories, physical exams, internal exams (I may be scared of vaginas now), blood extraction (successful!), IV cannulation (not so successful) and learning about the still-mystifying system of forms we use at the hospital while being guided by the older clerks, interns and the rattled admitting physician.

Fell asleep right after we were dismissed. The rotation may be exciting, but it's still really tiring. The problem is, there's no place open to get dinner and replace the pens I lost today.

Tomorrow, call time at 7am again, probably going back to our posts until a lecture at 10am, and colposcopy at 1.

I seem really into this rotations thing. There's something different to do everyday. I haven't started reading up on things yet, though. Always so tired.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
30 July 2013 @ 10:15 pm
 
While talking about certain cranky and somewhat misanthropic residents, someone asked, "Are we going to grow up like that?"

A moment of silence for our soon-to-be-lost childhoods.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
29 July 2013 @ 11:15 pm
 
Done with two papers and two posters. One more expectations paper due tomorrow.

Obstetrics rotations are intimidating at this point. Posts everyday whenever there are no preceptorials or lectures. Papers and reports on each case. Undefined break times.

I should also get started studying abortion, gestational diabetes and hypertension during pregnancy.

Still having a hard time waking up early and staying awake during classes.

Almost fainted in skills lab. The consultant asked if I was anxious in crowds. The residents figured out I was hypoglycemic. I was too nauseous to think.

Went out for dinner with a group of classmates. Same stuff: talking about school and the people in school and some nonsense related to either.

I wonder how I'll survive tomorrow.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
24 July 2013 @ 11:30 pm
 
Posters, reports and expectation papers to be submitted next week.

I don't know what I want to do now.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
23 July 2013 @ 06:52 pm
 
Rotating at the hospital doesn't allow for certain needs of the students. One such need is consultations with doctors for their own health, ironically.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
16 July 2013 @ 05:22 pm
 
I feel really tired after a long day of classes, especially since I didn't get to eat lunch a while ago.

Lots to look up. Good thing there are to-do lists.

I'm probably supposed to feel bad (maybe even depressed and self-pitying) about not being able to take an elective abroad because I had one bad grade from last year. I'm not, strangely. I'm okay with studying another four weeks in the country, or probably just in campus. Someday, I'll find other opportunities to travel outside.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
15 July 2013 @ 06:19 pm
 
Feeling lousy today. Don't feel like eating. Skipped three meetings, of which two were at almost the same time. Fell asleep in class. Can't get myself to get out of the dorm. Help.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
10 July 2013 @ 06:47 pm
 
I've never been gladder that school is over for the day than I have today.

The case presentation by my classmates started at 3:30 pm. For every item presented, the "facilitator" took every opportunity to very comprehensively run down every single concept he already discussed before. When we discussed the management the patient received in the wards, he starts mini-lectures on every mismanagement (the many antibiotics the patient was given, the ineffective immobilizations) and all their possible outcomes. All of his sermons seemed directed to the already-exhausted lone speaker. This went on until around 6pm.

Whelp, so much for learning objectives... Wait, there weren't any to begin with.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
10 July 2013 @ 06:39 pm
 
I've never been gladder that school is over for the day than I have today. The case presentation by my classmates started at 3:30 pm. For every item presented, the "facilitator" took every opportunity to very comprehensively run down every single concept he already discussed before. When we discussed the management the patient received in the wards, he starts mini-lectures on every mismanagement (the many antibiotics the patient was given, the ineffective immobilizations) and all their possible outcomes. All of his sermons seemed directed to the already-exhausted lone speaker. This went on until around 6pm.

Whelp, so much for learning objectives.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
09 July 2013 @ 08:03 pm
 
Tuesday is almost done. Man, I'm exhausted. It must be the exam and all the group meetings and (setting up) the party a while ago. I won't say that I hated being busy; I just can't think well after using up so much energy.

I spent most of the day talking to people. That's new. About the exam, Swimming Anime aka Free!, group work, mental health, buddy lines, chocolate fountains, how to clean chocolate fountain machines....
 
 
The ceiling gazer
07 July 2013 @ 10:03 pm
 
On the week ahead. As I write this, I'm scribbling notes on my calendar, in an attempt to be a responsible planner.

Skimmed through the general topics under Oncology. I have a pretty good idea of the principles, but I'm not too sure I know enough of the specifics (as usual). Let's see how that will turn out on Tuesday.

Three-point-five days of Trauma after Tuesday's exam. No groupwork, except for the patient interview and gathering info on the management of their case on Tuesday right after the exam. There won't be time to catch up with the readings, so I'd better attend most of the lectures. Already downloading the past notes for this module.

Org party on Tuesday as well. (How am I going to survive Tuesday?) Need to prepare decorations. Will streamers and tablecloth and chalkboard art do? I have to discuss it with the rest of the committee tomorrow.

To confront, or not to confront that person who hasn't replied to any of my messages?

I'm going to meet with my psychiatrist again this Thursday. It's something I look forward to every week.

My wart, it BURNS!

I really have to go home this Friday.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
03 July 2013 @ 07:04 pm
 
I meant to prepare extra strong coffee for academic and extracurricular reading the whole night. I haven't started yet, it seems.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
02 July 2013 @ 10:22 pm
 
"No man is an island."

Yeah, right.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
01 July 2013 @ 10:14 pm
 
Queuing poems on my private blog. Once I've scheduled at least fifty, I'll surround myself with my pathology and medicine books (and avoid the group work that's irritating me right now).
 
 
The ceiling gazer
01 July 2013 @ 09:27 pm
 
Still no reply.

Instead of working on a group paper, I'm (re)reading Fernando Pessoa's biography. Whenever I read about someone--anyone-- else's life, I get the feeling I'm not living the life. A life that's worth writing a biography about. I'm doing nothing special. I'm not reading any books, whether fictional or med-related. I'm not into projects as of now. I'm just living and breathing and avoiding other people. Nothing special about that, I think.