The ceiling gazer
01 November 2012 @ 05:08 pm
 
Past one hurdle. I survived the debut. There were lots of other people out of place like the celebrator's grade school friend and her hairdresser, my sister didn't wander too far away, and the hostess was really nice and accommodating.

Now, there's the overnight trip to my parents' province for my niece's christening. This may be agoraphobia kicking in. I'm anxious about the six hour ride going there and being in a place I haven't been for ten years and having to talk to people whom I barely remember. I'm probably going to bring my antihistamines with me.

I wonder if this anxiety is something that really gets in the way of my life, or if I can live in a way I can avoid these situations like some kind of hermit. I think people will tell me to forget about the second option.

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I'm bad at conversations, which is why I end up favorite-ing my friends' tweets instead of replying to them.

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Good news: the lump is most likely an swollen lymph node. It shrank to half its size after antibiotics and using a hot water bottle.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
29 October 2012 @ 10:27 pm
 
I went to school to enroll today. My classmates were there, most of them being all "I MISSED YOU!!!1!11one" and things despite being physically away from each other for just a week. Waited for my enrollment form to be assessed, and it was released fifteen minutes before the cashier closed for the day, so I wasn't able to pay today.

After that, I went to my dorm to get my Globe Tattoo thing, some index cards and pens that I needed for advanced study this sembreak. But I won't be studying anymore , it seems. I'm going out again tomorrow to pay tuition. That night, I'll be attending my sister's friend's birthday, something I'm anxious about. On Wednesday, I'll be seeing the doctor to have the lump (hopefully it's just a swollen lymph node) checked. Thursday is All Saint's Day, so we'll be visiting the cemetery. On Saturday, my niece is getting christened, and we might stay overnight at there place, which makes me even more anxious. It seems the rest of my break has already been planned. I miss those vacation days where I just stay home and follow my own schedule.
 
 
The ceiling gazer
27 October 2012 @ 08:17 pm
 
Went to another doctor today. The lump I have may either be inflamed skin or an inflamed lymph node. Less likely a sign of a tumor, but if the antibiotics don't work, I'll have to get it biopsied.

Was out of commission for the rest of the day. Not because the lump hurt, but my head did really bad.

Not much happened today.
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The ceiling gazer
03 September 2012 @ 03:46 pm
I missed classes this afternoon. Got a throbbing headache at the back of my neck and around my eyes before lunch, so I went back to the dorm, took some painkillers and tried to sleep it off. I woke up at 2:30 with some pain left, took another tablet and left, and while walking to school, I realized that my classmates were walking home. So much for starting the new module properly.

Now I'm back at the dorm to catch up with the lectures I missed and unfortunately, I don't know where to start.

I'm starting with reading handed-down handouts on the same lectures and trying to answer the guide questions for the group discussion tomorrow. I hope I find my way from there.

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At the dorm, there's only one other person there, in the common room studying. But I can't help but feel uneasy about just walking out of my room to get something to drink from the fridge and going back. I may be reverting to my anxious state of mind, and just when I was getting used to the other mode (waking up in the middle of the night and feeling lousy the rest of my waking hours, feeling gloomy, etc.).

I'll talk about it some other time, when I actually have the time.
 
 
Current Mood: anxious